As I had decided not to decorate for Christmas this year (nothing happening here — will be partying at family & friends’ homes), I was glad to find a good place to hang my crocheted snowflake. Pretty cool, eh?
By the way, Kcrystina is one of the passengers on my Road Trip Destination Happiness. I’d love to have you join us, but first you need to be on Facebook. Hope you’ll add me as a friend — I promise lots of action and goodies for 2010.
So now I’m a whole MONTH behind.
No sweat — remember the tortoise?
Geez… that building has quite the inclination.
I’d like to have a professional opinion regar- ding why I always lean towards the left when I draw. Pisa Syndrome? Political influence? Brain tumor? Oops, cancel that last one = bad Law of Attraction.
I think the creative process is not
about creating something else;
it’s about the process itself
creating who I am.
Mayumi Oda,
Artist and Writer
Here’s what could explain my tardiness to get down to business: lately, I’ve been thinking that maybe, just maybe, I’ve come into my creativity — whooppee — and that I don’t need to do the group activity with Jamie’s gang.
Good thing I wrote about this dilemma in my Morning Pages; I quickly realized I still have loads to learn from great creative minds such as the ones who share their secrets in Gail McMeekin’s book, not to mention Jamie interviews other great creative minds each week (excellent podcasts!), and group members add their insights as well. So lots of food for thought and fodder for the hungry muse.
And speaking of food for thought, a morsel I found particularly nourishing is when the author recalls her years of dealing with chronic fatigue syndrome and how this brought her to, in her words:
“redesign my life with my limitations and
with total allegiance to my truth”
These words resonate with me BIG TIME.
My limitations — at this point in my journey — are stress related.
Now that depression is a thing of the past, I’m happy, I’m healthy, I’ve never felt better in all of my life. But, there’s no way I’m going back to a 9 to 5 job. Nor will I return to freelance work because of the deadlines and the pressure that goes with it.
Another stress factor: when I go out — on the street, in the metro, around people in general — I can “feel” everyone’s energy. By energy, I mean their pain, sadness, anger, or whatever stuff is eating them up. So, of course, this drains me, and I often find myself eager to go home, in my safe bubble, and play.
Yes, play.
I’m finally giving myself permission to let go; to not care what people think; to not feel guilty for being 58 and not having a pension plan or any other plan, for that matter.
I’m giving myself permission to not EVER do anything that goes against my true self.
That “true self” I am birthing is a creative, playful,
curious, daring, silly, sometimes awkward person.
One that likes to dream and make dreams come true.
Even if it means eating toasts and soup all year round.
Gail McMeekin says it best when she writes:
For many women, fears, particularly concerning money, can be a major obstacle to taking creative risks.
For so many of us, breaking free of our societal and psychological chains is a prerequisite to truly creating a life that expresses our genuineness and uniqueness.
and…
As I undertook to transform my life in midstream, I began to look for the mentors of advanced creativity. Who were the best role models of successful creative women? Why this gap of information and stories about women who use their creativity to create products and services and support themselves successfully with their talent? Who succeeds and how, were my questions; I wanted a thoughtful road map.
I had heard from so many women over the years that self- employment or careers in the arts were “impractical.” I knew that the average writer in this country makes a subsistence income and faces increasing competition. Yet, every year women publish books, design clothing, create pots, and begin businesses, and I wanted to know what separated the women who do from the women who just dream about it.
Now, some women are also running multimillion-dollar businesses. Although many of these women are in partnership with their husbands or fathers or inherited the businesses, an increasing number have done it on their own. That kind of monetary achievement and level of responsibility is not everyone’s definition of success, though.
Other creative women earn just enough to support their needs, choosing lifestyle and balance over income. They, too, are successful — but by their own parameters.
In conclusion, darling readers,
I choose lifestyle, balance, AND income.
Creativity + Law of Attraction = $UCCE$$
Next secret: Honoring Your Inspirations
Stay tuned!
Here’s a brief excerpt to give you an idea of what it’s all about (I took the liberty of presenting the information in bullet form for clarity):
There are three major Gateways through which you are invited to enter on this journey: Engaging Your Creativity;
Mastering Your Challenges as a Creative Woman; Actualizing Creative Results: The Power of Positive Priorities.
Within each Gateway, there are a series of Secrets — essentials for a successful transition to the next Gateway.
Within each Secret, there are specific Keys that unlock its mystery and spur your mastery.
By the end of the book, you will have compelling goals and a plan of action steps to guide you on your chosen path.
There are 12 Secrets, one for each week or each month of the year. You set your own pace.
Evidently, I’ll have to quicken my pace if I want to catch up with the rest of the group. This is week number 3, and the reports are due on Friday. I’ll see if I can go through Secrets 1 and 2 between now and the end of the weekend. Then I’ll explore Secrets 3 and 4, and by the end of next week, I will have caught up with the rest of the gang — over 100 participants.
I think I’ve told you before how easily I get bored.
If not, I’m telling you now: boredom follows me
around like a shadow. As far back as I can recall,
I’ve always ended up in a rut.
And this explains why I haven’t been posting as often as I’d like to: I get weary of writing the same thing on both my English blog and my French blog.
Once my English article is ready to post, I don’t feel like reproducing it in French, and vice-versa; the thrill is gone — I want to move on to something new. And to tell you the truth, I hate to translate, so imagine the fun I’ve been having over the past thirteen months.
But yesterday, on my walk back from the library, I had an aha! moment: I suddenly felt liberated from this self-imposed obligation of having identical blogs. From now on, each blog will be distinct and have a life of its own. I will do what I want, when I want, in whatever language I want.
Yet another milestone reached
on my road trip to happiness.
How sweet it is!
Why, you may ask, did I wait so long before taking this rather simple decision? I’m sure I could find many reasons that would explain my neurotic behaviour, but now is not the time to dwell on the past. Now is the time to snap out of this boring pattern, this masochistic discipline, and start using the rerouting opportunities presented to me by the RuneRaido.
In other words, I must master the art of being a bum
in order to boost my creativity.
Instead of a MacBook Pro and a ZOOM H4, I got a boil.
And the boil isn’t in any ol’ place either: it’s on my face, in the middle of my right cheek, right under my big brown beauty mark.
Arrrgh!
While I’m typing this blog post, my festive furuncle sleeps soundly under a heavy coat of aloe gel. Good boil. As the pus-filled lump sleeps, a thought gives me the creeps: if I don’t kick myself in the butt and move on with my life, I will continue to ROT.
Which brings us to my next topic…
This website turned one year old on December 18
I went back and read my my very first blog post. I remember how completely drained I was that day. Drained by the months of patience and hard work it had taken for the site to go up. I can’t begin to count the hours spent on Skype with Tina Stephen, my tech guru, probing and testing, day and night, to finally figure things out and make my dream come true.
So there I was, inaugurating my custom-designed site, at the start of what I believed would be a rockin’ road trip through the past.
When I clicked to publish that first post, I was excited — oh yes, very much so. But at the same time, I realized what HIGH expectations I held for this site and that I would have to work very hard in order to keep the dream alive. (DOUBLY hard since I had had the brilliant idea of managing a French version of this blog thus doubling the work… doubling the stress.)
Yes, I was stressed. The stress kept getting heavier and heavier, and things started to become more and more boring as the weeks and months went by. Where had all the excitement and adventure and music and laughter gone? Why was my magical van so slow? Why did I always end up spoiling my fun?
Many times, I wanted to quit and shut down the site. Other times, I wanted to at least drop one of the blogs. Of course, the French blog would have been the one to go because it has the least traffic. The thought of this made me feel bad: How could I abandon my heritage, my culture?
Damn guilt.
All this to say that I’m glad I pushed ahead and pulled through — in both English and French.
I’m now ready to raise the bar and make this place a reflection of who I truly am and of who I want to become. I’m already focusing on getting rid of the perfectionist devil, and I’ll be starting a creativity class soon, but that’s a topic for another post.
I hope you all have some kind of end-of-year ritual. Personally, I find it important to look at where I have come from; to make sure I know where I want to go; and to pack my mind, heart and soul with whatever I’ll need for the journey ahead.
More to come as I count down the hours
that will lead us to 2009…
**The Year of The Oza**
So now I’m a whole MONTH behind.
The book we’re working with is Gail McMeekin’s 
About Santa Claus
Many times, I wanted to quit and shut down the site. Other times, I wanted to at least drop one of the blogs. Of course, the French blog would have been the one to go because it has the least traffic. The thought of this made me feel bad: How could I abandon my heritage, my culture?
