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December 29, 2007

Stardust

Posted in ABOUT OZA, videos

December 29, 1949.

5 :53 p.m.

What Violette has been feeling for more than a week; what Meldrude has been seeing in her tea leaves for the last two days; what I’ve slowly been growing into for close to a month and a half; all this is validated, confirmed, and explained in a two-minute phone call from Doctor Hamel: Violette is going to have a baby.

Violette puts the receiver back down, smiles at herself in the mirror that hangs over the couch, and quickly returns to the kitchen where Meldrude is rummaging through every drawer, looking for the potato masher. Violette – who had rushed to take the call with the utensil in hand – gently pushes the old woman out of the way and starts mashing vigorously, pouring milk and dropping big chunks of butter into the mix.

Théodore comes out of the bathroom, lights his pipe, coughs something up, spits it in the kitchen sink, plops down in the rocking chair, and asks, his head trembling, “Who was it?”

After shaking pepper, then salt, into the pot, Violette puts the potatoes back on the stove, turns to face her in-laws, and announces, with a wave of her masher, “I’m pregnant.”

6:15 p.m.

Georges (Violette’s brother) and Thomas (their cousin) arrive after a hard day’s work at the umbrella factory. Once they have washed their hands and seated themselves at the table, Violette belts out the good news. Potatoes and peas and hamburger steaks are served amidst laughter and joy.

7:38 p.m.

Violette has done the dishes and is now folding the laundry that spent the day drying on makeshift clotheslines, in the hallway. She hopes Edmond won’t work too late, and maybe even skip his regular stopover at the tavern, tonight. He was so distraught, last year, when they lost their son. She thinks the sad event could be the reason why her husband spends so much time drinking with his buddies, or even explain his distant behaviour and lack of hygiene.

This baby just might be the answer to all her prayers.

7:46 p.m.

The door bell rings: it’s Alice, Violette’s sister-in-law. Her husband, Henri, is Edmond’s brother. He’s also Edmond’s boss – owns a contracting company that does renovation jobs for movie theatres and nightclubs all over town. Henri calls Edmond his “right arm,” but in reality, Edmond is also the left arm, the painter, the carpenter and the foreman; he does all the work.

Violette likes her brother-in-law, but she hates her sister-in-law. She finds her arrogant and bitchy and downright
condescending.

Without even so much as a polite nod to the rest of the household, Alice orders Violette to grab her coat – “Snap to it, the motor’s running!”- they’re going to Côte Ste-Catherine, on the other side of the river, where there’s something she thinks her sister-in-law should see.

8: 17 p.m.

Dragging Violette by her coat sleeve, Alice barges into the Pink Flamingo, ignores the doorman’s extended hand, rushes by the coat check girl, knocks down a fake palm tree, and coming to a halt in front of the band, points a ferocious finger towards the middle of the dance floor. There, in the arms of what her mother-in-law would call a “cocotte,” Violette finds her Edmond, swaying to the sound of Stardust their song.

8:18 p.m.

The womb is struck with a tremor so big that my 4 mm body is nearly ripped to shreds.

And Philippe thought the whistling was bad.



December 22, 2007

Meet Eddy and Violette

Okay…the van is fixed, and we’re at the Bardo Drive-in, waiting for the movie to start.

Dogs have settled in, everyone’s comfortable, popcorn is being passed around, and…action!

My Conception

Edmond penetrates Violette, without any foreplay, at 10:28 p.m. on November 19, 1949, just as Frankie Laine starts singing Mule Train on the radio.

Mule train!!
(Hyah, hyah)
Mule train!!
Clippety cloppin’ over hill and plain…

Eddy is drunk. And seeing he’s been married to Violette for over a year now, he’s stopped washing every day and stinks of week-old sweat and hundreds of cigarettes. His breath is a mix of rotting teeth, cooked cabbage, and beer burps. Violette turns her head away to look at the Emerson Aristocrat radio that’s sitting on the mahogany night table. “It’s such a pretty shade of red…I suppose one could call it cherry red,” she thinks, and then wishes she could switch the channel and maybe catch Dinah Shore singing Buttons And Bows. But no.

Mule train!!
(Hyah, hyah)
Mule train!!
Clippety cloppin’ o’er the mountain chain
Soon they’re gonna reach the top, clippety clop, clippety clop…

Violette turns her head back up again, watches Eddy’s blood-shot baby blue eyes stare right through her for a while, then continues her circular movement towards the other side of the bed. Setting her focus on the closet door—which is slightly ajar—she sees her old pink satin slipper sticking out; she recalls seeing the left one under the couch, that morning, when she vacuumed the living room rug. She pans over to the oak dresser—a gift from her in-laws, a bulky art-deco piece with a cracked, stained mirror. Next to it stands a chair…what’s left of it to see, that is. It’s piled so high with dirty clothes that some of it has spilled onto the floor—mostly socks and underwear. “I’ll do the laundry first thing in the morning,” she decides, and hopes she’ll remember to get the broom out and sweep that cobweb off the ceiling. She can’t understand why she hadn’t noticed it till now, it must be a good eight inches in diameter, right above the door leading out to the kitchen.

Mule train!!
(Hyah, hyah)
Mule train!!
Clippety cloppin’ through the wind and rain
They’ll keep goin’ till they drop, clippety clop, clippety clop

Banging away, Eddy recollects the prostitute who serviced him in his brother’s Ford pick-up the day before. How her red, heavily teased hairsprayed hair swept across his swollen beer belly. And this drives him crazy, and he stiffens and jerks and relieves himself with a growl, mouth wide open, saliva dribbling all over Violette’s ear and neck, and she remains limp while her husband crashes down on her cold body, then finally rolls over to sleep and fart and snore.

Get along, get along, get along…

And so it is that when Frankie belts out his final note, Eddy’s sperm fertilizes Violette’s egg.

THE END

(Or should I say…the beginning.)