Quack Meditation

This is the cause of yesterday’s knock-out punch…

The Monster Meter

Because absolutely nothing has changed in the composition of my five and a half-room flat, or in my habits or lifestyle, that could justify such an increase in consumption:

• I live alone (more so since my dog died on April 1);
• rarely use the stove because I’m vegetarian and eat mostly raw foods;
• own a 4.3 cubic inch refrigerator;
• wash my clothes in cold water;
• don’t have air conditioning (and if I did, I wouldn’t be using it in April and May when it’s not that hot in the first place);
• last fall, changed all my old light bulbs for the fluorescent ones, which cost me a pretty penny ;
• and in the winter, I insulate my windows with plastic sheeting, a ritual that I have grown to loathe more and more with each passing year, but to which I am committed in order to save money and energy.

So it’s clearly a mistake — either the woman who came to read the meter didn’t jot down the numbers right, or the meter is out of control.

The man I spoke to on the phone — at Hydro-Québec Headquarters — said it could be that a neighbour has somehow plugged into my meter and is using my electricity. Which I told him was an improbable scenario. I’ve lived here for twenty-six years, the people in this housing co-op are my friends, and I know the neighbours well enough to swear they would never even think of doing such a thing — to me or to anybody else around here.

After I had so eloquently pleaded my case, instead of sending someone over to check the meter, this man sent me a form that I will have to fill out, and then have an electrician examine my circuits and appliances and have that guy fill out his part of the form, a form that upon reception, Hydro-Québec will no doubt carefully study before deciding that there appears to be evidence to the effect the problem or error could be theirs. And send someone over.

This is the part where I took a series of long, deep,
peace and love breaths.

This is where I practiced being in the moment: I didn’t panic, I didn’t project myself into the future, and I didn’t feed the situation and have it grow into a full blown I’ll-never-be-able-to-pay-that-frickin’-amount- damn-life-is-so-unfair catastrophe.

Walk walk walk!

I quickly got out of the house, went to the library, picked four books (three of them funny cartoons), and then dashed straight down to the river, down to the river I dashed.

There, in one of my favourite little hideaways, I sat down and relaxed.

I did what I like to call my Quack Meditation, which is mostly gazing at, and talking to, in both French and Duck, these beautiful creatures without any expectations of a sign or a wise reply.

And, of course, I lovingly reassured myself
that Everything Will Be All Right.

Question Du Jour:
Why am I writing about meters and ducks when
I should be working on my Paper Purge?

5 comments

1. Marilyn Robertson says:

   whoa — if you lived in BC the cops would be on your doorstep looking for the grow-op in your hidden room! lol Here’s hoping they move the paperwork around before and figure it before the next bill comes. If not – light a fire under them. ; )

   August 15, 2008 at 11:17 pm

2. Marilyn Robertson says:

   By the way – LOVE your secluded spot!! That is just perfect.

   August 15, 2008 at 11:18 pm

3. Gord says:

   One of my favorite expressions from a family member who was given 7 months to live but lived another 7 years…”Lord love a little duck”

   http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=jkje4FiH9Qc

   August 15, 2008 at 11:23 pm

4. MuddLavoie says:

   Hey Marilyn!

   “Grow-op”…too funny

   But so true — what do they think I’m doing over here that would justify such an increase in consumption?

   “Grow-op”…still laughing every time I think about it.

   Glad you like my hideaway. You’ll have to come and quack with me, some day.

   Hugs xoxo

   August 17, 2008 at 8:15 pm

5. MuddLavoie says:

   Hi Gord!

   Awwww…that’s so sweet.

   Hugs xoxo

   August 17, 2008 at 8:16 pm

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